Okay, Divine Divinity, I’ve tried to take you seriously. I read all the ingame books. I threw myself into the role-playing experience! And now this.
But let’s start from where I last left off. So I’m this hero, right? I helped some people who were transformed into animals. I helped prevent a war between elves and dwarves. I got into the warrior’s guild! But eventually, I have to say, I tired of the questing and just wanted to get on with the main storyline. Because what’s the point in waiting when the fate of the world hangs in the balance, right?Usually, it’s this point where you begin to grind: You know you could progress in the story, but you need a couple more levels to beat up the next big bad. Here, however, I had no trouble whatsoever killing the normal enemies, what with my Sword from the Stone and all that. This was also one of the reasons (time being the other one) why I didn’t hunt after the dragon set or the holy items. I just couldn’t be bothered, since my equipment was already great.
Or so I thought. One encounter with “OMG toughest boss ever WTF I DIED after 5 seconds?!” (aka. Fucking Josephine) and I was back to grinding some more, too. What I’m trying to say here is, that the balancing could be a little more polished. Which brings me to my next point: the bunnies.
Yes. I mentioned it in my last post, the polymorph spell has great trolling potential in this game. Basically, it redefined my experience of Divinity. From the moment I turned the unbeatable ghost from the stone into a bunny, I knew I could never play this normally again. I had to keep doing this.
The next Black Ring member I encountered was Moriendor, a mage who had stolen a dwarven holy item. When he proved too much for me, I thought I might give the polymorph another try, not expecting it to work. After all, I hadn’t put any additional skill points into raising it, and on level one didn’t think it would affect anyone with a reasonably high spirit resistance.
Turns out, Moriendor didn’t have a high spirit resistance. I chased him around the caves as a little bunny and laughed. When I nearly had him, he cursed me and teleported away, like the other Black Ring bosses. As a bunny. But I didn’t know half of it yet. When I returned I finished all the relevant main quests, which was to bring one member of each race together in a central council chamber. Since I had explored everything by now and unlocked all the teleporters, this was easy enough. I had fun during this stage, but enough was enough, and I wanted to see the end.
In the council chamber, the others were supposed to bless me. Turns out that meant killing me, hoping I would be reborn as the Divine One. Thanks for the heads-up, Zandalor. After I was gone, the party was ambushed by the Black Ring – and all the terrifying bosses were back: Josephine, Iona, Demona, Cornelius… and… a BUNNY. Are you fucking kidding me? He didn’t turn back?! Moriendor had time to assemble with his buddies AND the Demon of Lies, but he didn’t find the time to ask one of them for help? And this was a prescripted scene, mind you! Why would the game not just use Moriendor’s standard sprite for this? To be honest, I laughed so much during that scene that I missed all of the evil taunting. This is by far one of the funniest things that have ever happened to me in a game.
After that, I have to admit, the game began to drag a bit. I ended up in a desert, reborn, all my quests gone (but not my inventory, fancy that… I carried those 5 million health potions all the way to hell and back!). I met up with Zandalor and tricked a dragon into giving me a cool spell to turn into a ghost. After that I finally entered the Black Ring’s secret lair. Still, I was a little bored at this point. I was essentially strong enough to slaughter all the Black Ring dudes easily – all except Josephine, who was still being a giant pain in the neck.
Eventually, I reached the lair of the Demon of Lies. I was ready for the battle of the century. In my mind, I remembered the final battle against Diablo in Diablo II and went in there with considerable anxiety.
Turns out, the Demon of Lies doesn’t have a high spirit resistance either.
Yep. That’s how I beat the game. I was so prepared for this battle: health and shadow potions at the ready; I even had found a new sword that was better than the Sword from the Stone! But no. All I had to do was turn him into a small furry animal and smash him until he was dead.
Most people who know me also know that I have two pet rabbits. I love these little fluffballs even when they eat my cables and destroy my books. I love bunnies in general. I FELT BAD ABOUT THIS. Honestly, I just don’t want to have to kill bunnies in a videogame is all I’m saying.
In the end, many of my questions remain unanswered: I still wonder what those trapped, magical beings were in the opening cinematic. Was that the Source? Why exactly did the Source fail? How was I marked? And of course the cliffhanger of the game: What will happen to the baby I carried from those crypts?
I guess I’ll have to play the sequel one day… I sure hope there isn’t a polymorph spell in it. Until then, I’m back to my latest addiction: Crusader Kings 2!